DROOPY DRAWERS AND PRISON WHORES

DROOPY DRAWERS AND PRISON WHORES

By:  Randy Gillis

I try to stay out of the fashion fray (anyone who’s seen me knows why) but I’ve noticed something circulating around Facebook that put my panties in a bunch.  I’ve seen it in a few different variations but it goes something like this:

To all you guys who “sag” your pants and show your butt and underwear…did you know it originated in prison?  It was a signal to the other MEN that you are “available”.  So if you wanna keep going around looking like you’re “available” for another dude to “tap that” then keep thinking you’re cool while I think you look like a Fool!!!  BTW it’s called PBS (Prison Bitch Syndrome). LOL Pass this on to the droopy pants that you know.”

It irritated me but I decided to let it go…until…

I stopped at a convenience store to grab a Pepsi and as I approached the checkout counter what should I see, but a posted “warning” to guys coming in with sagging pants that was nearly word-for-word what I had seen on Facebook, complete with a picture of two young men with their backs to us, pants sagging and presenting like a couple of Hee Haw Honeys in heat.  That was the final straw.


I happen to be personally acquainted with several hardened felons and they tell me it actually goes more like this:

Prisoner 1:  Hey, do you want to have sex?
Prisoner 2:  No thanks, I’m good. (taps finger on chin)  But if my parole falls through, ask me again.

 

 

So I was suspicious about this claim from the start.  It just didn’t “feel” gay to me.  It doesn’t have the subtly of say, a system of color coded hankies or a complex series of toe-tapping in the men’s room.  A quick stop at Snopes.com confirmed my fears:

 

“While sagging did gain its start in the U.S. prison system, it was not a clothes-wearing style authored by imprisoned homosexuals intent upon advertising their interest in casual flings.  Sagging pants became the behind-the-bars thing thanks to ill-fitting prison-issue garb…coupled with the lack of belts in the big-house.” 

So why go to the trouble of trying to tie this fashion statement to gay sexual availability?  Even Snopes.com noticed it:

The most intriguing aspect of the “trolling for gay sex” rumor lies not in its veracity, but in its acceptance as gospel by those who encounter it and who are then moved to pass it along to others.  While the combination of two facts (homosexuality in prison and falling-down pants worn by inmates) accounts for the origin of the belief that links the one to the other, its spread is attributed to the prevailing dislike of the fashion.”

This is where Snopes.com gets it wrong.  It can be attributed to one much more important little detail and if Snopes won’t say it, I will.  One, two, three….H O M O P H O B I A!  It’s that same tired tactic of taking something most people don’t like already and slapping a little gay on it to try to make the people who hate it, hate it even more.  It’s so effective it’s the number one choice of politicians and preachers everywhere.

 

The biggest reason this tactic is so repulsive is the hypocrisy behind it.  The excuse ‘nobody wants to see that’ is a bit flimsy considering the multi-kagillion dollar industry based on people’s insatiable desire ‘to see that’ (and I’m not just talking about porn, tits and ass are used to sell everything).  I think it's blatant assophobia.

 

Now I ask you, have we (gay people) ever tried to make a link between halter tops and gang bangs?  No. 

 

 

Have we ever tried to make a link between carpenter’s pants and straight men bottoming for their strap-on accessorized girlfriends?  No. (okay, maybe I have, but that’s just a little fetish of mine).

 

 

Have we ever tried to make a link between women’s jeans that ride so low that pubic hair becomes a fashion accessory, to girl-on-girl fisting?  No. 

 

 

 

 

As for the fashion statement at the heart of all this controversy I will say this.  Upon seeing it for the first time I had two reactions.  Number one, I thought, why wear pants at all?  Number two, if my ass looked like that, I’d droop my drawers too.