FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

By:  Randy Gillis

 

I couldn't quite believe what I was reading.  I had just stumbled into my office chair with my bowl of cereal and was checking my usual sites when I spotted something on Facebook.  It was an article from i09 with the headline 'Meterorite Explodes Over Russia'.  Honestly, my first thought was that some asshole CGI students had struck again.  I'm still feeling the burn from the whole 'Eagle nearly flies off with toddler' fiasco. 

I go to the site and read the story and then I watched the videos.  I sat there, dumbfounded.  I played the videos over and over again.  Especially the ones that caught the sonic boom.  Maybe it's living through countless end-times dates, maybe it's watching unregulated capitalists rape the world (and its inhabitants) for something as trivial and ultimately meaningless as wealth, maybe it's watching as the current culture devolves into corporate sponsored lunacy and ignorance, maybe it's the fact that within minutes, some were declaring that a meteorite exploding over Russia is a warning from god because gays can now get married in Illinois, but whatever the reason, a feeling of euphoria began to creep over me.

There's just no other word for it, and I was confounded by it.  For the rest of the day, absolutely nothing bothered me in the slightest.  The concept of work just flew right out the window.  All the trivial daily worries evaporated.  When I went for my daily walk on a local trail, everything seemed crystal clear and vividly bright.  The feeling followed me the rest of the day.

I wasn't hoping to see mass destruction, nor did I want to see global suffering that will no doubt come with a mass population thinning (which we are way overdue for).  I think I was focusing in on what a sudden, cataclysmic event could mean for us in the biggest picture I can imagine because maybe I think it will take nothing less for us to finally break through into something better.  It will have to be something that happens without warning and huge enough that it acts as a reset button for us.  A clean slate.

Not that I have any idea what should be put on that slate.  But I know the concept of money has to die and it has to die hard.  It can't go out quietly.  It has to be a screaming, agonizing, 'see you in hell' kind of death that involves fire and broken glass.  While we're cleaning house, I can think of a few other things that the next phase of human existence could do with out.  Religion (every single last one of them) and American Idol come to mind (almost simultaneously). 

As I was contemplating all of this, Patricia walked past the door.  I called her in.  "If that had been a really big meteor that explode over Russia this morning, what kind world would rise from the ashes?" I asked.  "Still chasing that Star Trek silver lining?" she asked.  "Just answer the question," I shot back.  "What kind of world should replace this one?"  She thought for a moment, tapping her chin for extra emphasis.  "It really wouldn't matter to me," she said, "as long as I can consume lots of vagina."  (I'm paraphrasing of course.)  I suppose it was a silly question.