HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AMENDMENT ONE!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AMENDMENT ONE!

 

By:  Randy Gillis




 

 

 

 

 

 

 One year ago today, North Carolina taught me a fact of life that I wasn't prepared for.  You see, I had always believed that knowing a gay person was the best way to calm fears and change attitudes, but then Amendment One came along and showed me just how naive I really was (and I've lost the friends and family to prove it).  I was so distraught that I couldn't work the next day.  I called in sick (not a lie) and wrote a letter to vent my anger.....and posted it on Facebook.  I though I would dig it out and share it again to mark the occasion:

 

 

Dear North Carolina,

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Well, you did it. In spite of all the information out there about what this will do to your friends, family and neighbors. In spite of the other-worldly level of contemptuous cosmic thinking and racist origins of this travesty, you loaded up the church vans (like your preachers dictated), headed to the polls (like your preachers dictated), picked up a pen (an advanced instrument for many of you) and filled in the circle for Amendment One, further demonizing your fellow North Carolinians (like your preachers dictated). What makes it all the more fun is that YOU are the ones who constantly whine like little bitches about the "evil" of government intrusion. Are you feeling proud?
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Before I continue with this diatribe, I want to extend my love and thanks to all my friends who voted against this insanity and for all the love and support you have given me in these difficult days. As the Apostle RuPaul would say, "ConDRAGulations, you're safe," and always in my heart.
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Now, if I have any friends or family who voted for Amendment One (and yes, I'm talking to you), or who didn't vote but thought Amendment One was a good idea (and yes, I'm talking to you), I ask only one thing of you. I would like for you to muster all your strength and scrape together an ounce of integrity (Google it if you need a definition) and REMOVE me from your friend list, because we aren't friends. If this is how you feel about gay marriage then this is how you feel about me. We are the same and at this point, why add hypocrisy to insult to injury? This is not one of those situations where we can "agree to disagree" and chit-chat about pleasanter things. This is far, far bigger than that. There will be no need to exchange words but if you feel compelled, go for it. I have a few on reserve for you. Most of them are short and easily understood.
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You'll remove me now or I'll remove you later. Makes no difference to me, for you see, gone is the wise-cracking, good-natured Randy. You killed him. But in his death a new creature was born. Say hello to wise-cracking Randy in a poo-poo mood! And it's about to get really ugly in Randy land. It's time to unleash the DOGS OF WAR! Prepare yourselves as I summon the Shih Tzu of Christianophobia, the Pekingese of Islamophobia and the Pomeranian of Jewophobia. Each, by-the-way, has taken "Best in Category" in hell for the last three years. Not-to-mention the Wombats of Mormonophobia and Scientologophobia (cause let's face it, they don't deserve a mammal metaphor), and any other "-ophobia" I may come up with at my whim. My page will become a bastion for blasphemy using whatever combinations of filthy words I can conjure (see, it's started already).
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I will troll the World Wide Web, gathering every slathering example of "believer" I can find and parade them all over my wall for my amusement. I will type till my tips are shot to hell and my manicurist refuses to see me again, for the sole purpose of expediting your very own prophecy of becoming a mocked and scorned people. I realize that this makes me something of an enabler, but I'm okay with that. But from your side of the counter, it also makes me an important part of your god's plan so suck on that fat one for a while. And by all means, feel free to reply so I can scoff at you, laugh my obnoxious French laugh and delete you faster than a preacher can snort coke off a hustler's ass (which is a totally hot image by-the-way. Does that make me wicked?). I will rip into the flesh of your world-view, gnash my teeth around it, swallow it and return it to you in the form of a rectal blast of steamy contempt (I'm on Metamucil, so that won't be nearly as difficult as you might think). I will raise monuments to the true trinity of Dawkins, Harris and Hitchens, otherwise known as the Father, the Son and (as of December 15, 2011) the Holy Ghost.
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As I no longer consider myself to be a North Carolinian, I will revel in watching you finally join the cool kids like Mississippi and West Virginia and giggle with glee as you sink to whatever depths your ignorance will allow. I will contribute in any way I can to the national feeding frenzy of mockery and inbreeding jokes (I'm starting my own list of North Carolina jokes now). I will post profanity-laden pot shots and hit below the belt at every opportunity. If great comedy comes from great pain, prepare to laugh your asses off. All of these things I swear to you......that, or I'm going fishing.
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If you think I'm going just a tad overboard because of one amendment, you're wrong. This if for a lifetime of Amendment 1s, Proposition 8s, Ballot Measure 9s and all the rest. This is for a lifetime of watching and listening as religious "leaders" declare war on and cause the suffering and death of gay people worldwide. This is for a lifetime of watching gay people used as fodder for the political machine. I could go on, but you get the idea.
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As for Amendment One? It's going to hurt a lot of people; until we undo it....and we will (I'll also get a certain satisfaction out of watching North Carolina go bankrupt trying to defend the indefensible). The only thing you've accomplished is to waken a sleeping giant (although I have lost 12 pounds due to my walking regimen).
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As for me? Now, whenever someone asks me where I'm from, I will hold my head high and proudly say, "Weeee doggie ya'll, I'm from South Caroliney." Okay, I may leave off the "weeee doggie" part.
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Sincerely,
Randy Gillis

Wow!  Reading it again, I have to say, it is ugly, angry, and bitter (and sometimes funny).  But it's also an accurate picture of where my head was at one year ago. 

So, what's it like today?  Well, I still struggle to not think about what so many of my friends and some of my family did to me on that day.  I stomp it down or push it away.  But it's always there, waiting to creep back into my head.  I get great comfort from watching marriage equality on a slow but unstoppable march as just yesterday Delaware became the 11th state to adopt what should be a given, legal protection for, and recognition of everyone's right to marry the person that they love.

Of course things will be bad in North Carolina for a long time.  Maybe people are waking up in this state, now that it has become painfully obvious that Amendment One was just a warm up for worse things to come.  Things that will take years to correct.  Only time will tell.  So, until then, I don't want to be a sour puss, so, happy anniversary Amendment One!  I wish you a short life, continued ridicule, and a painful death! :)